A week ago, I had been invited by a friend to go on a Friday-morning foraging hike, and spend Shabbat at her beautiful place by the beach. I had been looking forward to it. And then I got an invite to a Friday-morning educational tour on a farm, and a Shabbaton, and multiple invitations to Shabbat dinners and lunches in Jerusalem with amazing people I really wanted to see. So now my happy anticipation was tinged with FOMO, fear of making the wrong decision, and analysis paralysis. (Who knew that too much of a good thing can make one feel horrible?) It was getting late on Thursday night and I still hadn’t decided what I would do early next morning, or for Shabbat (several permutations existed.) And then I spoke on the phone with my friend.
She told me that she’s scared of an attack from Iran, based on what’s happening in the news, and if I don’t join her, she doesn’t feel comfortable making the long drive alone to the hiking spot. Okay, that settled it. I am needed. I will go, no regrets necessary.
But what was this about her being scared of Iran? That seems very unlikely. Iran has too much to lose. They’ve been fighting their war via proxies for decades; why would they change strategy now? And anyway, I know that Israel will never be destroyed, and I will always be safe.
I had a wonderful time with my friend. And I feel sorry that she has any fears.
So then, last night was interesting.
I just had another amazing Shabbat. I had a new experience for me, attending services at the Conservative synagogue followed by a pot luck, with amazing mostly-vegetarian dishes and great conversations. I spoke with a multi-lingual Italian guy who used to work for the EU, and now works as a journalist for Arab Affairs. I asked him every question I wanted to ask somebody who reads all the major Arab news in Arabic. (And it turns out he used to work for MEMRI!) Starting with — when you see videos translated from Arabic to English, are the translations correct? Answer: usually yes, with occasional variations on how to translate a specific word. I asked him what the Arabic press says about many things, including our situation with Iran. His assessment: Israel has sensitive information about a lot of their nuclear sites, and they wouldn’t want to risk having them taken out.
After that pot luck, I went to another group pot luck (because why miss out on anything?) Stayed up way too late talking with a friend who is back from fighting in the war. And then, in the morning, went to the Conscious Community alternative service, where I got to sit in a beautiful garden and meditate on the sound of a stream. (In the middle of this peaceful outdoor meditation, we got to hear someone scream, “Hello? Where are you?” and his lunch hostess answer the door, loudly responding. It was hilarious. One of the participants reflected that he took it as a message, being asked in meditation, “Where are you?” A few of us responded to his comment with the Biblical word, “Hineni,” Here I am.) Afterwards we had another amazing pot luck, and I got to speak with friends. And from there went to a different lunch, at a friend’s place, (because why miss out on anything?) a half-hour walk through the park (Gan Sacher) away. There was a festival in the park, I think for foreign workers from Sri Lanka and Nepal. They seemed to be having a good time. My second lunch was a small group. We stayed after lunch and hung out until nightfall.
When I got home, ready to make Havdallah to mark the separation between Shabbat and the secular week, I found out that my roommate had invited over some of the people from the earlier pot luck, and the party was still going. They had just made Havdallah before I walked in the door, and I did it again. Then one friend stayed over, and she and I talked about anything and everything, including Jewish healing, her enjoyment of reading my book, and my story about another book I had written but not published. It was midnight when she was starting to fall asleep and ready to go home. I sent her off, and went to my room to brush my teeth and go to bed.
Then my roommate came home, back from a date, and said, “Hello?” Usually when she comes home late and I’m in my room, she doesn’t try to talk to me. I have too much curiosity to ignore this. Did something happen on her date? I came out and asked what’s going on.
“Did you hear this thing about Iran?” What about Iran? (And who cares at this hour?) “Sorry to wake you,” she said. I wasn’t sleeping. (I was getting ready for bed.) “Iran sent hundreds of missiles towards Israel.” Okay… what does that even mean? Don’t hundreds of missiles get sent to us on the regular? “This is the first time it’s been directly from Iran.”
Okay. So it looks like I’m not going to bed right now. Time to check the news. And then, Home Front Command, to see if there are any instructions/recommendations. And then, my dark humour memes group, to see if there’s anything funny to say about this situation. (There is! A lot!) And yes, along with check-in from family and discussion in group chats, that is my list of first priorities.
It turns out that it takes a few hours for missiles to get here from Iran, so we have more than the usual 90 seconds to prepare. Honestly, that feels anti-climactic. I have to worry about something that is hours away? Spare me. (One of the memes lists each type of missile, how long it would take to get here, and what you can cook in that time. If Ballistic Missile, you have 12 minutes, enough to make an omelette sandwich. UAV is 9 hours, enough to make broth.) Rikki figured out why making matzah was such a big deal for the Israelites when we had 18 minutes to flee Israel. Dough wouldn’t have enough time, and it would be heavy, and get mouldy along the route. This is an experience we can now viscerally imagine, as she prepared what we would take to the bomb shelter should we need it. (3 rolls of toilet paper. Thanks, Rikki.) Should we bring food now to the public bomb shelter, and leave it there in case we get stuck for a long time? She suggested we bring the chametz (bread) that we want to get rid of before Pesach. I thought that would be a bad idea, because then we would have to clean the shelter for Pesach. I suggested we bring matzah, so it’s there in case we need to go during Passover. But, she said, we’re not supposed to eat matzah for 30 days before Passover. So then we shouldn’t bring it there beforehand.
The sarcasm in Hebrew was hilarious. Someone asking Iran, “We just want to know, when’s the time for annihilation? Should we clean for Pesach, or not?” I get it; cleaning the house for Passover is a huge deal, and if there’s a chance that anything would happen to us, maybe one shouldn’t bother. (As illustration, the number of events that I know about and try to attend, which is usually around 6 per day, has dwindled by about 90% in the month leading up to Pesach. People turn down offers to meet, and postpone non-urgent business, because they spend so much time cleaning to prepare. Obviously, my stories about Shabbat don’t reflect this, because people don’t clean on Shabbat, so socializing stays at full-volume.) As much as it sucks to be in an ongoing war, I am enjoying that each crazy news story has comedic tie-in with the closest Jewish holiday.
I learned that schools and after-school programs have been cancelled because of this threat. There was a poll asking an Israeli group chat: “What stresses you more? / ☐ There are no after-school programs, no daycare centre, we are not finished cleaning and need to work / ◻︎ Iran.” The former outnumbered the latter by 6:0. Another meme pointed out, “All educational institutions were canceled tomorrow. For me, this is revenge and it is disproportionate.”
I realized what is the actual harm here. Not for a second did I believe that Israel would be incapacitated. I have celebrated way too many Jewish holidays based on one regime or another’s attempt to kill us, followed by their own failure, to leave any possibility that this will end differently. (New question: Does any other religion or nation have festive holidays based on surviving an attempted genocide?) But having people afraid and their lives disrupted is the real problem. I think about pregnant women, probably 10% of Israel’s population, who could experience complications or stress on their fetus. Terror is the literal goal of terrorism (aside from potentially killing people.) My friend feeling anxious about the situation is the harm. Israelis losing sleep for a night, then having to cancel things, is the real effect. Having school cancelled, plans changed, and disrupting our lives is the ongoing damage. Not to mention the effect this could have on our tourism industry.
Franklin D. Roosevelt said, “We have nothing to fear except fear itself.” Centuries earlier, Rebbe Nachman of Breslov said, “But the main thing is not to make yourself afraid.”
Rikki pointed out that a Kabbalist we had listened to on Tuesday night had predicted this situation. Another Kabbalist, Rav Doniel Katz, posted in his group himself singing a song to us. Later, he posted another cute audio, with his kids and family, of a Passover song with the message, “In every generation they rise up to destroy us. But the Holy One, Blessed be He, delivers us from their hands.”
On the other hand, this experience can have a unifying effect. Probably there are Israelis praying tonight that had never prayed before. Hopefully people realize that protests fighting each other mean nothing in the face of external enemies hell-bent on destroying us. We need to work together. Whatever it may look like to compromise, we need to have conversations with each other, and embrace every group within Israeli society. I believe that this war won’t end until Israelis find a way to embrace each other, and the world sees that we are united. Or the Mashiach comes, whichever is easier.
At around 1:45 am, we heard two booms, one after the other. What was that? I imagined something landed in Nachlaot. Then we heard another two, one after the other. I listened for screams or sounds of buildings collapsing, but didn’t hear anything. Our place rattled with each boom. There had been no siren. Should we be worried? I asked her to check the Nachlaot chat groups and see what people are saying.
Then we heard it. The azaka - siren. “Should we go to the shelter?” she asked. Do I really want to put on a coat, grab water/purse/whatever, and head out there? I would have to muster the energy, and every second I think about it is a second we have lost, and it’s not good to go outside if we won’t make it in 90 seconds. “If you want to,” I answered. I mean, she has the toilet paper ready. For my vote, being at home is just more comfortable, even though we could meet our neighbours and that would also be cool. Rikki doesn’t make a move. So we stay.
She had already been lying in the couch/bed where we normally sit as our safe spot, away from the glass of the windows. I plugged my phone into the charger, grabbed my mug of water, and sat next to her. “Let’s recite Psalms,” I say. I grab my book and she looks them up on her phone. “Number 91,” I suggest, which is the protective Psalm that can save someone from calamity. We read the Hebrew together. Then, because we have different translations, I read each sentence in English, followed by her reading a sentence from her translation. My prayers work, and I don’t hear any more booms. Eventually, I hear people leave the shelter and talk in the streets. I get up to get pretzels, because I’m hungry.
I couldn’t understand why the siren would go off after we heard the booms. Was that just to let us know, retroactively, what had happened? Was that to validate us, that we’re not crazy and something really did happen?
Rikki explained: the booms were the Iron Dome intercepting rockets. The siren is to warn us about shrapnel.
I have other questions, like: Where did the intercepted rockets land? Were these from Iran, or from Gaza, or the North, or the Houthis in Yemen? And how do I find this out? The news websites cover what they cover, and I don’t know where to find answers to my specific questions.
Rikki doesn’t know whether she should stay up and keep praying, or try to get some sleep. I suggest sleep, because why be sleep-deprived and unable to function tomorrow? Reports say the rockets may land between 2-4 am. Israeli humourists quote imaginary predictions from ancient Sages: “Drones expected at 4:15 according to Magen Avraham / 4:30 according to Baal HaTanya and the GRA / 10:45 according to Rabbeinu Tam”. Another lists different times for different cities, the way Shabbat candle-lighting times are listed. Another writer says, “I feel like I’m waiting for a technician to arrive between Friday and Sunday.”
We talk about where the UAVs might land. They could stop short and destroy Hezbollah’s infrastructure in Lebanon. Or, what would happen if they landed in Gaza, specifically in Rafah? That could be Iran’s way to prevent Israel from needing to go in. (When I saw images in the morning, there were rockets above the Dome of the Rock. That’s an interesting place for Iranian missiles to end up.)
“I’m going to bed,” I told Rikki. She decided to do the same, bringing a blanket to our safe space on the living room couch/bed, just in case. At 2:15 am, I brushed my teeth, thinking, in the morning I’ll check the news and find out whether I’m still alive. Let me know what happens.
I slept in until 10, listening for street noises, wondering if anything in the world had changed. Luckily my Torah study group was postponed, because I’m not the only one who needed the sleep. Let’s start checking the news.
It turns out that the US, UK, France, and Jordan helped Israel intercept 99% of the rockets. There was only one casualty — a girl was injured by shrapnel — a Bedouin in the south. Way to go, monsters, injuring an Arab girl. I wonder if Leftists ever protest when Arab Israelis are under attack, or do they think it’s fine as long as the Jews didn’t do it?
Iran’s first comment to the world is that they hope nobody will relatiate. ‘We’re just going to launch hundreds of missiles, hope you don’t mind.’ The Arab media is mocking them for sucking at missiles. 85% of Iranians want a regime change. I read an article interviewing Iranians, and many of them don’t want to go to war with Israel. A lot of Iranians are pro-Israel, I learned years ago, and it’s still true. Iran’s government, the IRGC, has the word “Revolution” in the title, because it came into power by revolution. How long will it be until the next revolution knocks them out?
Another news item is that the UN is going to convene an emergency meeting at 3. I assume it’s to figure out how to blame Israel for being attacked by Iran. I imagine that they used to have meetings to figure out how to seem plausible and pretend to be a respectable organization, but now they don’t bother.
Often I think about that series of baby books, “My First Playtime,” “My First Zoo,” “My First Words,” etc. I’m living in a book like that. It’s called, “My First Israel War.”