Review: 3 Years in the Holy Land
Next month, on June 21 in the English calendar, it will be three whole years since I’ve made this Land home. I’ve completed all of the bureaucratic tasks — including converting my driver’s license and getting a passport, which has already expired. I moved several times in my first year, and haven’t moved since, living for more than two years in Nachlaot. I’ve acquired a business license and taught weekly improv classes for more than two years, and I’ve joined a therapy clinic. It’s been a wild ride.
The biggest theme of my first year was that nothing was as I expected. It was still good, but it was nothing like I had imagined or been told it would be. At this point in my journey, I feel settled. I’m used to the rhythms of the Israeli year, I have friends and know where to go for Shabbat meals, and mostly everything has been figured out. Often people are surprised at how recently I arrived — it feels like I’ve been here much longer. And Israelis still speak to me in Hebrew, surprised when I reply that I don’t understand. (Unlike most Anglos, who tell me that Israelis start speaking to them in English, even before they open their mouths.)
So, how do I measure? If I had a scorecard, what would it say?
Hebrew
Lauren is making great progress on learning the language. Although she is still not fluent. That is alternately unacceptable (after this amount of time) or to be expected (after such a short amount of time) — depending on who is asked.
Biggest win — about two weeks ago, I read a children’s book! I even got the plays on language! Granted, I didn’t understand every word, but I didn’t look up a single word, and yet I understood the gist of the story! I am also reading Hebrew text messages sometimes before plugging them into a translation app, and can understand a lot of what’s been written. My speed in reading Hebrew prayers is much faster, especially when it comes to bentshing after a meal, the Amidah (especially compared to when I started going to the Kotel for 40 days), and now reading for Sefirat HaOmer every night.
When people speak, I can figure out what the topic is. Though lectures are still hard for me, when people have simple conversations (greetings; Have you seen my…; Can you pass the…; etc.) I can follow a lot of what they’re saying!
Jewishness
There is a 100% improvement in Lauren’s knowledge of Jewish concepts, including Hebrew phrases, mystical ideas, and both Jewish and Israeli holidays. Lauren studies Torah regularly, alone, in lectures, and in study groups and pairs. She has many people and opportunities with which to discuss these and go more in depth.
It’s not just that I spend more time studying Torah — I completed reading the TaNaKh (yay!!), including a few books several times, and I’m going over the Chumash one page at a time with commentaries, and in my study group (in both cases, completed Bereshit!)
It’s also about living Torah. And I’ve come to realize a few things. One is that this isn’t just some woo-woo spiritual but irrelevant text, nor merely a historical narrative — though it can be read on those levels. It’s another experience entirely to walk around the Land, and have a tour guide or plaque point something out — this is where an ancient battle took place, or where a particular Biblical narrative happened. I learned what a “milestone” is, literally, when someone pointed out a three-foot stone monument from Roman times that told you where you were on your path (you passed another Roman mile) and who was the Emperor at the time it was constructed. Archaeology digs are unearthing ancient artifacts and writings — and I was part of one of them! It was pointed out where the “Dead Sea Scrolls” were found, and the fact that many more such documents-hidden-in-jars are in other caves in the desert, still being discovered.
People all over the world and from different faiths read Tehillim (Psalms) for comfort, for pull-quotes, and for communal singing (including Boney M!) — but nothing compares to the experience of being in Israel during a war, when all those metaphors come to life before your very eyes.
It’s a good idea for a patriarch or matriarch of a family to write their life story so that their descendants know where they came from. I know people who interview elders to have audio, video, or books to archive what they’ve experienced. Sometimes we find ancient diaries, or are lucky enough to have books published from hundreds of years ago, that few people happen to know they are descended from. Can you imagine an ancient ancestor, from thousands of years ago, having a detailed account of their life story? I have that! I actually know my ancestors from thousands of years ago, their names and geneologies, their migrations and marriages, even some of their conversations and inner thoughts. That’s incredible! Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob are my great-great-…-grandparents!! Learning about them means learning about me, my family, and this Land!
People
When I moved to Guelph, it was two and a half years before I found out about social events or made friends outside of work. It was like a treasure hunt to find out what was going on. I’ve since read articles about how it’s hard to make friends when you move to a new town as an adult, especially without kids or pets.
Not so in Israel. I started making friends my first day in Jerusalem, who then sent me flyers for events. It wasn’t long before I was added to chat groups where I was inundated with social events, free stuff, new friends, and discussions on any topic you could imagine. I have never been bored, or without an adventure here. The last few days, every time I go on a bus somebody recognises me, we talk and I get invited to something. People are amazing, friendly, interesting, connected with stuff to do, and yes — speak English.
Work
In Canada, people looked freaked out when I told them I teach improv. They would either ask if I work with children, or say something like, “I could never do that!” It happened so often, I wrote about it in my book.
So it came as a shock that in Israel, I get the exact opposite reaction. People are really excited. They want to come to my classes. Sometimes they ask me, right then and there, to lead them in games, or to perform for them. They can’t wait!
Jewish Time
In Canada, it always felt like a nuisance. Things were scheduled on Jewish holidays, and if I asked for it to be switched, it would be rescheduled for another Jewish holiday. I’ve been told that if you keep Shabbat, you can’t participate in the improv world, or work in the film industry. Stores and friendly greetings were tailored to Christian holidays, and when I mentioned Jewish holidays, people didn’t know what I was talking about. (I was happy to explain.)
Here it’s a breath of fresh air. Store clerks wish you Shabbat Shalom on Friday morning (even Thursday). Walking down the street on Shabbat or Chag, strangers wish each other a good one. Everything is scheduled around Jewish holidays. When scheduling, everyone in the room is aware, so when someone says, “How about next Monday…?” someone else says, “Can’t, it’s Yom Yerushalayim (Jerusalem Day)” and everyone’s like, “okay, let’s keep looking.” There’s no argument or fight; no need to explain myself. We all just get it.
Stores and street advertisements and magazines are catered to the next Jewish holiday. (And yes, there’s basically one every week — more if you’re Chabad.) Chat groups and friends’ conversations, as well as shiurim (lectures) and meals, include words of Torah or from our Sages about the upcoming special time. It permeates everything.
By the way — chag Shavuot sameach! (It’s next Sunday night/Monday)
Mental Health
Both in Toronto and in Israel people struggle with money. In both cultures, there’s not enough time for the things we need to do. There’s a lot of stress, not to mention trauma.
And yet, it looks very different. Here you might say there’s even more trauma — but in North America, people act more traumatized. 1 in 4 people in North America suffer from depression, anxiety, or social phobia. It’s common for people to turtle — avoid social occasions, stay in bed all day, watch TV instead of every going out. In Israel, it’s the opposite. People cope by getting together with others, or rushing out to volunteer. People tell each other everything, rather than clam up.
Last night I went to a discussion circle in Hebrew, where a few members were distrustful of others or the alleged “agenda” of the gathering. They spoke about it openly, making eye contact with each other, and really listened to what other people were saying. It surprised me. They spoke their minds. They seemed calm, open, receptive to responses. They connected with each other. And by the end, I think felt closer and reassured. I can’t explain why it surprised me so much — I would have expected yelling, walking away, shutting down, talking over each other, angry faces and pointing gestures. But they didn’t do that. They just listened and respected each other. It felt so connecting and present. Even the people being accused just listened and gave each other space.
These are my impressions from my first (less than) three years. It might look different for the next three years (things are constantly changing here!) And that’s with the fact that more than half my time here was during a war.
Here’s to a lifetime of being Israeli!